How to Dress for Success to Influence

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SUMMARY

 The first four seconds that you meet someone are the most crucial ones in your journey to Influence. Whether it is a client, a vendor, an employee, an investor, a leader, a community – whoever it is that you are trying to influence, first impressions go a long way. They make the path smoother and easier. When people talk about first impressions, however, they usually refer to the way you dress and carry yourself. They refer to the conversations and external factors of said first impression.

The secret no one tells you is that the external factors are only 20 % of the true first impression. The bulk of the first impression comes from factors that aren’t easily visible. It goes beyond the way you dress or the confidence with which you speak. There is deeper magic at play here. The unconscious mind of the opposite person is noticing everything.  The external as well as the internal. It gets signals that you can never otherwise catch. Your emotional state, your beliefs regarding the topic, the meeting, and even your future plans are conveyed. Your values; What is important to you and to what degree come out in the first impression?

People make a decision about you in the first four seconds based on all the external and internal information their unconscious mind gathers. These split-second decisions are based on feelings. In the entire meeting or interaction following that, their conscious mind is coming up with reasons and logic to justify the decision already made. This is how the human mind works. If you can manage your first impression, your first four seconds, the battle is half won!

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Full Transcript of this Episode:

When you talk about leadership, one of the most important aspects of leadership is influence. And influence is sometimes very easy, sometimes very difficult, sometimes very simple, and sometimes extremely complex. Today, I want to talk to you about the foundation of influence.

Did you know that it takes just four seconds, all it takes is four seconds for someone to decide whether they want to do business with you or not, whether they like you or not, and whether they will be influenced by you or not.

Hi there. I'm Sirisha Ravuri. I'm your online business consultant. And I work with a very, very unique mindset-based approach. On the Citrines channel, we talk about influence and impact. And they are the cornerstones of leadership. And we also talk about sales.

First Four Seconds

Coming back to our topic on influence. The first four seconds that a person looks at you matters the most. It's the first impression that people keep talking about. But the first impression is not just that one meeting. In fact, it is much much shorter than that first meeting, it's even before you get a chance to say hello. It's that quick split-second decisions that your unconscious mind makes that decide the entire path that this conversation is going to take. Of course you can redeem yourself if your first four seconds are not great. But then if you get those first four seconds, right? That's it, you have created a very smooth path for yourself, to make sure that whatever your goal is, or this meeting, whatever your goal is out of this relationship that you're trying to build, whether it's a client, whether it's a vendor, whether it is a group of people, whether it's relationship, whatever it is, whatever you're trying to achieve out of this will happen smoother and much easier.

Elements of the First Impressions

So what do people usually talk about when they talk about these first impressions? They talk about dress, they talk about your external appearance. They talk about dressing for success. That's right. It's extremely important to dress for success. And I've actually written something down I've written some poetry that I want to share with you. It's about this whole dressing for success and I have it right here. I'm going to read it out And then we'll talk about it. So here goes.

 My Poem: Dress for Success

Everywhere you turn, you see them. Judging eyes.

Don’t wear this, cover up, that pant better be a high rise

There is a saying, don’t judge a book by its cover

But who adheres to that? No one ever, we discover.

Unfortunately, though, attractiveness plays a big part in everything

To be perfect, well put together always is a scary thing

But of course we have to find a way out and that too fast

Because why live in fear, when we’re here to have a blast?

The fear inflicts quiet a few, while others it spares,

But to look it in its face, ah, no one ever dares

Fight it, and put it in its place you absolutely must,

And rise above it by yourself, there is no fairy dust!

The secret lies not in always aiming for perfection

Nor does it matter, your height, weight, or complexion

It’s what’s inside that matters the most you know

Through all the quirks and imperfections, it will still show

Your vibe, your energy, your knowledge, your passion,

Your heart, your behavior, your drive, your compassion,

Your confidence, your sincerity, wear them as you dress,

And that is what will keep bringing you, success after success!

What does this mean to you?

That's right. It is about what you wear. But not just on the outside. It is about what you wear on the inside that matters even more. It's not just about the clothes you wear, the makeup you put on the bag, you carry the shoes, you wear the watch, you wear the belt you wear, it's not just about that. It isn't even just about the confidence that you have.

It's a lot more than the external appearance. You know why? Because people look at you, their eyes take in the external appearance. But there is something a lot deeper, that's happening during those first four seconds, the unconscious mind of the opposite person is noticing everything. The unconscious mind gets signals that your eyes and your conscious mind will never ever catch. Of course your eyes do judge and they do come up with an idea of what the person is when you first meet them.

What do you need to manage for the right first impression?

So when you go for a meeting, when you meet somebody for the first time, it is important to dress well on the outside. But that is just 20% just 20% of the entire first impression of the first four seconds that you need to manage the 80% of the first four seconds that you need to manage is a lot more than that. And that is where your vibe, your energy, your knowledge, your passion, your heart, your behavior, your drive, your compassion, your confidence, your sincerity, all of these come in. It's what's inside that matters. It's your energy. And more than that, it is your emotional state. It is your belief system. It is what you value. It is you as a person that comes out in your first four seconds. What is the mood that you're in when you're going to meet somebody? What is the state of mind?

Your Intentions & First  4 Seconds Impression

What is it that you value? When you go in for a meeting? Are you going there with a hidden agenda? Are you going there with ulterior motives? Everything comes out in your first four seconds? Are you going there with a sincere effort, a sincere intention of wanting to help the person that comes out in your first four seconds, your intention, screams through your vibe, the energy that you give out. Your mood screams and sometimes your intention, your mood, your energy, your confidence, the sincerity, whether it's there, whether it's not there, that is screaming a lot louder than how you're dressed on the outside.

Because the unconscious mind notices everything. So you can be assured that the person you're meeting, their unconscious mind is noticing everything about you about what you're feeling about the vibe, and they're not really making a judgement consciously about it, they get a feeling their emotions make decisions. And then the rest of the meeting, their conscious mind is coming up with reasons and logic of why the decision that they made in the first four seconds is actually correct. And that's how the human mind works. That's just how it's designed.

How to be a leader everyone respects?

So, to be a leader, it's not enough to just follow the steps to follow the instructions that a coach gives you or that you read online. To be the leader that actually is able to inspire an entire community, an entire business, an entire nation, even, you need to become the person that people respect, you need to actually bring all these qualities and imbibe it within yourself first, you cannot have negative moods, and dishonest intentions, and still be an amazing leader, you might get a few tasks done, you might get a small following, but you wouldn't be a transformational impactful leader, unless you make changes in yourself unless you work on yourself first.

Step Number 1 of Leadership

And that's the most important thing. That's the step that many, many people forget. So, step number one, of leadership, step number one of influence is to make that change within yourself to make those changes in you, so that you can become the kind of person that people can look up to so that when you dress up, you're not just dressing up on the outside, but you're dressing up with the right qualities on the inside. Because dressing for success matters on the outside and on the inside. I thank you for watching the video and I really hope that it was helpful. And I would love to continue to see you on the Citrines channel. Stay tuned