How to deal with Toxic People!

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SUMMARY

Whether you realize it or not, people have an impact on you. In this episode, you will learn how to identify toxic people and know how to deal with them effectively. You have to take charge of the people you surround yourself with. If you are careless, you will come to a point when you cannot recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. Positive people can uplift you and motivate you to reach your highest levels of achievement. You should gather and treasure the good people in your life. You can learn how to deal with negative people effectively.

This episode will teach you to identify, assess and deal with toxic people. Toxic people are everywhere. They could be your friend, neighbor, co-worker, boss, or even worse your spouse. It is crucial to take charge of your environment in the context of the people you associate with daily. If you carefully choose the people around you, you will be inspired, and they will fuel your progress in life and business.

You will come across all kinds of people as you go through life. In the process, you will encounter people with personality disorders. Most of them are unaware that they have these disorders. If you follow the principles and rights of the relationship, you will be able to build relationships that are meaningful to you and others. While you are exercising your rights, you must also remember that these rights apply to others too. It is a two-way street.

It is your life and your business. It is your right to choose the right people and avoid the wrong ones. You have to consciously take charge of the people your surround yourself with. Trust me, your success will accelerate, and you will be at peace while being fulfilled.

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Full Transcript of this Episode:

The following is the full transcript of this episode-How to deal with Toxic People- on our Citrines YouTube Channel:

In this episode, I am talking about people and their impact on you. This message is vital for anyone who wants to succeed in life, especially business owners, entrepreneurs, and sales professionals. We always underestimate the impact of people on us and overestimate our insulation to their negative influence.

Engage with the wrong people in life, and you will meet disaster waiting for you around the corner. People can damage you in ways you can't even imagine. People can also uplift you to the highest levels of achievement and fulfillment. It depends on who you will let in your professional and personal life.

Hi! Murali here. Today I would like to share how to deal with toxic people, especially customers. Having the right people around you is crucial for your success in business and personal life. However, all people do not come equal. If you have the wrong people in your life and business, they can be disruptive and push you to immense trouble and failure.

Let me ask you a question. Do you have people who drain your energy, assault your self-esteem and destroy your dignity? I am sure you have come across these people sometime in your life. If you allow these people to impact you every day, you will soon be unable to recognize yourself when you look in the mirror.

I get many clients in toxic relationships who have long back confused their situation as a norm and continue to bear the brunt of those relationships. Some are unaware that they are in a toxic relationship until something drastic happens.

The problem is many of them appear charming or beautiful, much better than the run-of-the-mill people you come across. You get attracted to them and approach them with high expectations. But soon, they fail your expectations, and you get trapped. They suck your energy, waste your time, empty your wallet and eat away your life or perhaps leave you broken-hearted. These people have personality disorders and they need professional help. However, you are under no obligation to help them. The best strategy is to steer clear of them or leave them if that is an option. These people look like adults outside but they are actually babies in adult disguise.

If you come across people who are menaced by accountability, reciprocity, boredom, and ambiguity, then better be alert and watch out!

In this video, I will show you how to recognize two main types of people with personality disorders. You will find them everywhere. They may be your neighbor, your co-worker, your friend, your boss, or even worse, they may be your spouse. The first type of personality disorder is “Ever Needy.”

In this video, I will show you how to recognize one of the main types of people with personality disorders. You will find them everywhere. They may be Your customer, your neighbor, your co-worker, your friend, your boss, or even worse, they may be your spouse. The first type of personality disorder is “Ever Needy.”

People have needs, and many of them will approach you for help. That is fine and helping them is a healthy, productive, and fulfilling behavior. If you have a helping nature, you are a good member of society and should be proud of it. However, there is a fine line between people approaching you for help and people clinging to you for support.

How do you recognize the “Ever Needy” person? These people will have needs that reach pathological levels. They will suck your energy, maraud your wallet and crush you emotionally. For them, you are responsible for solving all their problems in life. They cannot carry on without you. They want your unparalleled attention and perpetual help.

How can you tell if you are dealing with an Ever Needy person? Be alert for the following characteristics:

• You are always uneasy and search for ways to avoid the person.
• They make you feel guilty
• You constantly struggle to meet their needs
• They throw tantrums, cry or feel very bad when things go against their wishes.
• Victim Mentality
• Complaining
• Want you to feel sorry for them constantly
• Pity me demand
• Whining

How do you deal with an “Ever Needy” Person?

The first option, and probably the best option, is to leave. However, if that is not possible, then correct the situation. The right attitude to the person is to look at him with compassion and understanding while standing up for your rights.

Here is a technique I will teach you called the Truthful and compassionate challenge: The formula is State the truth compassionately while sincerely saying that it hurts you to make the statement you are making. Example: Whenever I ask you to do something by yourself without my help, you get angry and attack me, saying that I don't care. This behavior of yours is exhausting. It hurts me to say this. I feel like avoiding you and running away from you. Your behavior is your choice, but it will hurt our relationship if you don't take your life back in charge.

Example 2

Let's say you have a highly demanding customer who is not supporting you much in business. In fact, he uses more of your competitor's product rather than yours. However, he is a prestigious customer in the market. He keeps asking your company to fulfill his outrageous demands costing your company lots of money. You have tried to refuse him in the past, only to face big tantrums and threats. Your stomach goes in knots, even thinking of meeting him. What do you do?

Here is what you say, calmly and firmly:

Whenever we refuse to do something for you as a company, you get angry and attack us. You have also been abusive with my colleagues. We have always supported you in more ways than ever, and we are willing to continue to help you in the future. However, we find that you are not giving us business the way you can, and we cannot tolerate you being abusive with us. Your behavior is your choice, and it is hurting our professional relationship. It is painful for me to say that we feel like not doing business with you if you don't change the way you treat us when we refuse sometimes your requests.

Two things can happen if you consistently confront sincerely and compassionately. Either the person will get it and change her behavior or may further intensify her behavior. If it is the latter, then it is time to leave. What you should not do. This personality disorder is treatable, but it is not your responsibility to do so. Get that person's professional help. Remember, even seasoned professionals find it tough to treat these people.

Here are the dangers if the person has an extreme personality disorder.

• They can be extreme with shocking mood swings
• They can act erratic, whimsical, unpredictable, and unstable
• They may exhibit paranoia
• They may stalk you

Your safest and your best option is to leave and exit the relationship.

When dealing with toxic people you have your rights. It is time to exercise them.

Another type of Personality disorder that is common is that of an Aggressive Bully

Another type of Personality disorder that is common is that of an Aggressive Bully. A bully's goal is to frustrate and intimidate you and make you lose your cool. They think they can easily maneuver you. If you refuse to play by their rules, they give up quickly. Sometimes if the bully has authority over you, like your boss, then your only option is to be in the shadows and quit when it is appropriate.

What do bullies do? They verbally abuse you. What can you do to tackle a bully? There is a secret weapon. You can do the following:

• Stay calm
• Maintain eye contact
• Relax your entire body
• Get bored and project it

Boredom is a powerful weapon against aggressive bullies. Think of the times in your life when you were really bored and project them on the bully. Exhibit all the nonverbal signals of boredom. Learn this and practice it.

What you should not do while facing a bully is to fold your hands, assume a closed position, and get tensed.

If you are willing to lose that person as he is just an acquaintance or you have decided that continuing any relationship is futile, then you can lash back. Aggressive bullies are not used to that and moreover, deep down they are actually afraid and insecure. Please be warned, you may lose that person for good.

It is crucial to take charge of your environment in the context of the people you associate with daily. If you carefully choose the people around you, you will be inspired, and they will fuel your progress in life and business.

It is crucial to take charge of your environment in the context of the people you associate with daily. If you carefully choose the people around you, you will be inspired, and they will fuel your progress in life and business. However, you will come across people who are toxic to you. The quicker you recognize them, the better it is for you. The easiest and quickest way to judge the health of any relationship is to apply the principles on which a fulfilling relationship will thrive and sustain. Here are some of the principles to adhere to. I want you to search and come up with additional ones you can add to this list. In short, I want you to think deeply about the principles of effective relationships and use them to have fulfilling relationships in your professional and personal life.

You will come across all kinds of people as you go through life. In the process, you will encounter people with personality disorders. Most of them are unaware that they have these disorders. What you need to realize in any relationship is that you have certain fundamental rights and certain principles which if you follow will keep you safe and help you to build meaningful relationships with others - both professionally and personally.

You will come across all kinds of people as you go through life, and you will encounter people with personality disorders.

It doesn't matter who you meet as long as you remember your rights and adhere to certain principles of effective relationships.

Here are some of the rights that you should remember and exercise:

• You have the right to be respected.
• You have the right to be treated equally.
• You have a right to enjoy a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship.
• You have the right to not be abused in any manner.
• You have the right to speak up with honesty.
• You have the right to have your own values and enforce them even if the other person disagrees.
• You have the right to say no and also disagree.
• You have the right to choose whether a relationship will continue or end.
• You have the right to be yourself no matter how much people disapprove or ridicule you, as long as you are not harming anyone.
• You have the right to strive for safety in all relationships.
• You have the right to strive for a mutually beneficial relationship.

While you are exercising your rights, you must also remember that these rights apply to others too. It is a two-way street. It is your life and your business. It is your right to choose the right people and avoid the wrong ones. You have to consciously take charge of the people your surround yourself with. Trust me, your success will accelerate, and you will be at peace while being fulfilled.

The techniques I have taught you are good as long as you are not in harm's way. If you are in danger, please call the police and get yourself to safety. Your safety is your responsibility and priority first and always.